Me (bravery X2) + honest introspection - BS= Warrant
The above “math” equation is elementary, but I hate this blog because it’s so hard to really define what a warrant is, and I was hoping that you all would see my equation and see the light, and save me from trying to explain just what it is I’m thinking.
The thing is, I think we as humans- especially English majors- are skeptical when it comes to reading. How do we know the writer isn’t messing with our emotions, lying or just “adding” a few details to a story? How am I even supposed to go about proving I can be trusted?
In my first response, I wrote a lot about being brave enough to be honest, get the details in, and to “put your heart up against the shoes.” That’s really only the first step, as I’ve learned from reading everyone else’s responses. The writer, me, has to be brave enough to be honest: You can’t be a writer if you want to keep you ideas, skeletons, and whatever weird stuff you have going on in the closet…because if you take away those things, those real human experiences, how is the world are you going to relate to other humans?
Besides being brave enough to make ourselves transparent to the readers, we have to leave out BS. No beating around the bush, no softening our words, no whispering when we should be yelling. If we’re walking on eggshells, our audience will hear the cracking. Because the thing is, somewhere between the first page and the end of what we’re reading, we figure out who the author is. If they’re sarcastic, we know. If they’re obnoxious or quiet or deep, we know. We can’t be fooled, and neither can our readers.
So what is a warrant? How will I make people believe me? Well, I’ve learned that I can’t. That’s right. I cannot make any reader believe anything I’ve written, they have to choose for themselves based on what they read; but I believe that if I write from personal experience, and from a very real, raw, and honest place, it will be hard for them to doubt me. If I leave my fingerprints on my writings, how much more warranty can someone ask for?
I’ve already told you I can be whoever I want to be, “but, faking it is no fun. I feel that if you really want to move someone you should talk to them about real feelings and real situations. If you leave your own mind penetrable, you are able to unlock others” (Courtney Paige). This truth however, means that I may have to know the minds of others. I’d prefer to yell and strip, running around timid/clothed souls, feeling like I’m twice as long as I am. I have the bravery to be honest, but do I really want you to be? Can Whispers teach me to feel as she does?
“It seems a bit flamboyant of me to run around writing about my experiences or – dear God – my own thoughts, but occasionally I let my hair down, don some intensely ugly garb and own up to some serious self-destructive behavior. So I guess my warrant is that – I stand in my own way a lot and I want anyone sorry enough to read what I cast into blog-blivion to not feel so alone. Or maybe I’m completely unrelateable. I don’t know. I’ll say this – my writing isn’t really clever or cunning, but there is resolve” (Whispers).
Maybe a good first step would be to change my profile from my own name, to something that sounds like sanctuary. But that would mean that I’d have to care more about the lonely being loved than I do about being the one to love the lonely.
I am so desperate to be “the Leaver, and not the one who gets left behind” (kmp0020), that I am scared of those who can help me, and lured to the ones who need me. This is why I’m a destroyer. Because I lack the guts in the initial, in the beginning, in the time when I’m choosing what I need and can help me or what is personally safe and selfish.
Trillium rocked my world on this one. Loved it. Like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants minus the weird pants and cheesy dialogue and foreign men. Being happy and free. I could see that—could identify with it, could match it up to my own moments of bliss and entitlement, could picture it all then, the dog and the truck and the song and the thought process.
It’s difficult for me to talk about the blogs where I said something personal that isn’t happy or at least mildly hopeful. This is embarrassing for me to read again, because all I see is drama: no facts, just little Angry Girl Writer tears. Josh’s comments about my relative humility and humbleness thrilled me right before they made me sad, because all I keep thinking is this: if these people think what I’m doing or saying is right or good, then they haven’t fully grasped what kind of awfulness I have in me yet.
Also, William: yes. What he talked about is exactly what I’m experiencing right now—rereading my writing with this kind of thing is like the morning after with a man whose sister surprises him with a visit while my underwear is still hanging from the ceiling fan. There’s no way anybody is going to come out of this with dignity. I felt like Robert’s response was looking right at me—you there in the corner, telling the sob story. Cut that shit out. I fight that feeling with my writing all the time, and it makes me wonder if I’m supposed to get something out of that feeling. Also—I hate “The Scarlet Letter” too. 12:42.
I really liked the subject of "warrants." It reminded me of when I took dual enrollment in high school and my speech teacher talking about credibility. There was an actual spot in our speech where we had to say, basically, what gave us the right to talk about this subject. What made us knowledgeable.
Well I feel like twenty-one and a half years of life gives me the right to talk about whatever I wanna talk about. You can disagree if you want. Or ridicule me. Or even (gasp) judge me...but it doesn't mean I won't say it.
"Even if we put people off with our writing and warrants, we shouldn't allow for that to hold us back with continuing with our personal progress in that subject." -Paul
I think so too, Paul. We are gonna piss people off. Sometimes I think some people just like being pissed off and will be so no matter what you say. So why not just go ahead and tell the truth?
Life is not a movie. It's not all about cliches. It's not "wahhhh, listen to me, feel sorry for me." Since this original post was written, I met this guy. We talked for a little while before we both absolutely got on each other's nerves. (Wow. I actually admitted that...I feel a little better now!) The point I am making is that at a Halloween party (both of us a little drunk) we tried to out-warrant each other. We both tried to blame our broken hearts on stuff, mostly our dads (go figure?)
Me: "Well my dad divorced my mom and moved to Texas! Just when I needed him most. So now I go after emotionally unavailable guys who treat me badly!"
Him: "I met my real father on his death bed. I thought the man who raised me all of my life was my real father, but he wasn't. Oh and my ex was a meth head!"
Me: "My ex cheated on me with my sister!"
I wish I was making this up. How ridiculous is all of this? Point is, warrants can be used to say, "It's ok, I understand." But they shouldn't be to make people feel sorry for you or make yourself feel superior.
Sorry, this was rambling for sure. On an ending note... Dr PD, I'm glad you decided not to fake it :)
Have I already used the “this was my favorite” line? This time I mean it. Except I just peaked a little down the line from where I stand in these responses and there may be one or two more favorites left to write.
I remember this as the day I learned Josie’s name. Even through Almond and our previous blogs, I had failed to invest in you all. I wasn’t sure of the boundaries, or more importantly how many people were actually reading what I wrote. If this FMLing is good for anything its good for expressing gratitude to everyone who challenged me. Josie: this was your day. You cut me open, and assaulted my conscious. The life I was loving wasn’t putting out anymore. I’m glad the gorgeous bitch isn’t monogamous because I don’t know what I’d do without her now.
And Trillium: “I want to write something brilliant. I want to completely understand what I'm talking about and be able to articulate it clearly. Unfortunately, all of those abilities seem to have disappeared into the ether at the moment…” Thanks for saying that for me, because I didn’t have the guts to. I wish for just one moment I was Wilson or Dr. P – hell anybody articulate – so that you would believe it when I say: you are understood, and your writing is brilliant. But for what little my own warrants are worth, I hope you know it is true.
This was also a perfect day for me to become obsessed with this blog, because it meant I went back after I had posted and had the privilege of reading R.R’s post. What you said seemed so effortless in its honesty that it put what I said to shame. I hope (f you read) what I said it didn’t call for Claritin.
As for my own warrants, they’re changing. I’ve cannibalized a few since we last took an inventory, but managed to replace them with a few more. This time I’ve earned them, scars it tow.
I wasn’t ready back then to let my true colors show (maybe now I am cause I know that this semester is over) I wish that I had the boldness and courage that so many of you posses in letting people into your stories, no matter who they are. I am pretty gullible when it comes to writing I will believe anything that you tell me. I love fiction because it lets me have the ability to tell all my dirty little secrets without you knowing if it is really about me or that I just made it up in my head. I like what Courtney had to say about warrants, “I feel like when it comes to warrants, it is basically your permission to "move" someone.
People take you seriously if you know what you're talking about. Or at least if you fake it.
But, faking it is no fun. I feel that if you really want to move someone you should talk to them about real feelings and real situations. If you leave your own mind penetrable, you are able to unlock others.” Faking = no fun. I mean we don’t like fake people or things so why would we want to fake it with someone’s mind. Why not just let the raw bareness hang out? That last part about unlocking other is so golden. I think I need to understand more about warrants. I allow things to penetrate into my mind but do I trust people enough to try to move theirs? I do have fear. I want to be one of those writers that I love so much that make me fall in love with them, yet it takes courage to do that. It takes letting people in to see you for who you are. I think that this is something that I am constantly trying to do but to fearful to pursue.
Ah, the infamous warrant blog. Really stuck my foot in my mouth in that one. What was I trying to say again? What was everyone trying to say? Yes, we were talking about proving that we knew what we were talking about before talking about it... Almond, of course, is brilliant. Trillium said in this blog she wants to write something brilliant, and really we all do. We all want it to be brilliant and perfect and relatable, and incite just enough emotion, use just enough thought provoking technique, to leave the reader as in love with our work as we are when we write it. Is that even possible? Sara wrote she was expecting the class to be more technical and less emotional, making her unsure on how to respond. And RR Irwin addressed the passivity they found in a person's separate internet persona, while ending with, "If it ain't real, keep it concealed, because quite frankly, I'm allergic to it." And then, Dr. Walters brought us all back to life when he wrote that whatever we write, "to silence them out of some misguided belief that we’re sparing each other the noisy, irrelevant, boring details of our lives....is to silence every human being in the world... —to warrant, in some perverse way—the nonwriting, nonspeaking, nonliving human being as the only human being worth keeping alive. Like a bug in a sealed jar. Like a prisoner in the camps. And because silent human beings are never heard, they might just as well be dead." WOW. So that’s our warrant. We write to keep each other alive. There is a reason this blog is so quotable, because we all felt so strongly about it, about our warrants. It is, after all, what legitimizes us, our words, our thoughts, and ideas; or else we'd be like that bug in the jar or the prisoner, better off dead. SO, then Nick Brown wrote about, "that place in your chest that compels you to put what even you can barely describe, to paper because it feels like the tiny ball of angst will burst throughout your body. I believe anything anyone writes from that place is the only warrant you need." And I agree. This is what I've learned from this one, we all have to write, and share, and feel, and it’s okay. How will we ever learn anything if we always agree? From here I was excited about the concept of disagreement. We will see where that got me in the next blog....
I think another way this question could have been put is "what does it meant to be a writer?" And, in our own ways, I think that's what we all addressed, not just on this particular blog, but in this class as a whole. I love what Martha Lee Anne said on the subject; "it seems to me that writers are the most courageous people. Because here we are with our imperfections and flaws and weaknesses, and unlike the sane people we know who keep their quirks and memories in the closet, we writers throw it all out there to be analyzed and discussed and perhaps judged." And Tiffanee expressed the philosophy so many of us seem to embrace; "everything can be ripped from your grasp, and if you didn't take advantage of the moment, you will never forget it." We are people who live in the moment, but also just as much in the past and the future, and the possible. That's what writing lets us do, take an experience we've had, and look at its implications and the way things could have been. But, sometimes we get too introspective, and we forget to live - we forget to find our warrants. I love what Dr. Walters said about how we might as well be dead as stifle our voices. I love that so many of us are booze-swilling, smoke-sucking, truly fucked-up individuals. And I love that there are a few who aren't, who can see life through the rose coloured glasses, not because they fake it, but because they really do have that much faith in humanity and the rightness of the world. I love being part of the first group at the same time that I envy the second. The point, at least for me, is that we all have our stories. And I have a responsibility, not only to tell my own - honestly, articulately, and making it real - but also to listen to the stories of others. I find it so easy to put people in categories and then think I know their story because I know the stereotype. I have to remember that just because there is truth to most stereotypes, they are also just that - types - and no one ever fits a type completely. We are all individuals, with individual stories. And those stories deserve to be heard as individuals. P.S. Reading back over this made me remember how sad I am that Nick Brown dropped this class. He seemed like a cool kid, and I wish he could have stayed the full semester. :(
Let me just say, that this one sucked for me. Maybe I should have just stuck to contemplating what a warrant is, and how it is used rather than wonder what mine are. But I was inspired by Josh’s post about exploring his warrants. And I felt it time to put it all out there, balls to the wall. When I opened up the blog and started writing Frank’s post wasn’t up, and after I hit send, I saw it. I was humbled, and didn’t feel worthy to have my thrown-together-in-five-minutes-crap up online after his. So sorry to you all that read his work of art, and then read mine. But I guess that’s just how the cookie crumbles. The idea of warrants are useful, but a little painful, you need to be able to delve into yourself and grab the truth before you can start acting like you know what you are talking about. However, I love finding out about other people, so reading it is just fine to me, creating and realizing it about yourself on the other hand, is not. It’s a been-there done-that attitude we need to see in someone else before we believe them. Like Courtney had said, we aren’t going to take advice from someone who hasn’t experienced it.
Ya'll know how I feel about warrants. I'm not going to go into that again. I didn't like this discussion when it happened and I assume it showed when I wrote about it. You're gonna have to get me really drunk or get me in your bed to get anything out of me. However, I do want people to know that I do have an emotional side to me; I consider myself a very emotional and thoughtful person. I think way too hard and too often about little things. I'm pretty sentimental about life. But that doesn't give people the automatic right to tap into it. It's a level of trust that is unconventional to most, but if you want to get to know me, I suppose it's only fair that I let you in on some of those secrets.
Private James Ryan: "You were gonna tell me about your wife and the rose bushes?" Captain John Miller: "...no...no. I save that one just for me."
I really like this definition of a warrant: "it is basically your permission to "move" someone." In retrospect, Courtney's words make sense to me. If I want people to be changed by my words, if I want them to listen and react, then I need a good warrant. An experience, a tale, a story that gives me the right to speak my truths to others.
Sharing warrants is another aspect to this idea. As Trillium said, this is a blog that became about being a writer. What gives me the right to share my words with others? I suppose that would be another way of thinking of warrants. If my experiences, my credentials, justify the words I type, then there are a very specific set of things that I am allowed to speak about.
I still believe this: “We work so hard to earn some warrants, while we vehemently deny others, and in those actions we create a persona that is either heard or muted. Real or fake.” And I don’t know that I have discovered which of my warrants have earned or created for myself. As an English major, I trade in ideas. The creativity, the cleverness of my ideas, and the way that I unveil them, those are my credentials, my warrants. I forgot to list that when I was writing before. And I’m learning that it may be one of my most effective credentials of all.
I sit in the back corner and occasionally chime in with another honest, but boring story, however from time to time, my example is actually parallel with the class discussion. From the word warrant, a few things came to mind, I matched it to synonyms, maybe justification works, or reliability, or how about a simple "what gives me the right to write this?". Why not an honest opinion? In my mind that's all of the justification one needs. But from my corner I can't see faces, facial expression is the easiest way to tell if someone is telling the truth. Some people smile, many look down. I always listened to what everyone had to offer, one person though always stuck out, no it's not Wilson, it's actually Josie.
On the original blog she said "there are warrants I have that I don't deserve, and ones I don't have that I think I do. When it comes to the important things, I'm probably a Person of Interest at best". If you read the whole blog it makes sense in there. I see how some people are in class, silent, but I think they are itching to speak, but maybe they aren't sure if it's okay. Mad props to Josie, your honesty, to me, is the only warrant you need.
I may be way off, but honesty might be the most important warrant of all.
Haha, Robert, I watched Saving Private Ryan today, too. It really made it hard for me to focus on the task at hand.
Also, I didn't post on this blog originally (oops). And I think I am still not really sure I grasp this warrant concept. I’ve always been a little slow.
I do like what Catherine said about being in Education and how if one of our students writes candidly to us about their life (much like we write for this class and on this blog) no matter how good the writing is, we have to follow protocol. One of my education teachers told me that at the beginning of each creative assignment, we are supposed to say that if our students write about anything that involves them hurting others or themselves, we have to report. So they are automatically limited in a way. I mean, how creative can you actually be if you have to censor yourself?
But then again, do we really want our students to be honest with us? I think this is one of the few classes I have taken where my professor actually wanted us to be ourselves. It's weird. In a good way. I don't know that if, in a few years, I would want my little baby high school students to be honest with me. Not like this, at least. I don't want to know the moments where they have fucked up. Mainly because I don't want to be the person who is responsible for turning them in. I know that it if they are brave enough to write about it, then they recognize the error of their ways. Because I was most likely as stupid and reckless as they were at one point in my life. And I think I turned out okay.
I have learned through this blog post (and the original) that Dr. P was fooling all of us. She actually was referring to the band "Warrant" and not "warrants" in our lives. As Forrest Gump would say, "and that's all I have to say about that."
I'm just kidding.
Through learning via reading everyones' blogs, I learned that I truly feel confident in my writing when I spin it with humor or cheesy sarcasm. And that's my warrant (this was an epiphany I came to about halfway through the firs paragraph)- humor. I wish my close friends (and even regular friends) could occasionally see the serious and fatherly side of me, but I can never bring myself to show them. It's a weakness that makes me feel guilty for searching out for humor in everything, and that follows me into writing.
Humor is my warrant, I know, because whenever I write with humor and sarcasm I always believe myself and trust that it's really me in those words. This is not to say that I can't or don't write serious (like now), but I just remember the funny stuff more, and that's serious business to me.
I'm with Paul on this one. That serious side is hard to show, because it feels like a weakness to let people know that you actually care. It's way easier to just makes jokes all the time to make everybody think that you're comfortable with every situation.
This is still one of the earlier blogs, that I half-assed and didn't really understand what I was doing. I did write in a paper, though, that I have valid warrants. I'm young, I make mistakes, but if I believe enough in something that I'm writing passionately about it, then I think that the truth of it will ring true enough that it will hopefully speak to you personally.
Initially, I think we all were a bit confused on what a warrant really is, but after reading others responses I think we now understand. I think Josh said it best, "It is the permission to "move" someone." I do agree with others in the class that if I'm going to write about something with the intent to move someone then it has to be honest and true, with no gray areas. I remember reading Josie's post from the old blog and how much it moved me. From reading it I could tell that it was indeed the truth and that she was being completely honest even though she somewhat felt it hard to speak about. She didn't have to speak on it, but she did. This goes to show that readers can tell whether your writing is real or fake. Warrants are important when writing, its just that we have to choose which one are actually real and which ones we somehow created ourselves through time.
"I want to write something brilliant. I want to completely understand what I'm talking about and be able to articulate it clearly"-Trillium.
Who doesn't want this? But the question is are we capable of doing such a thing when we let our warrants get in the way. Hell yea we are! "I think what we have learned and extracted from this course so far, has been to stay faithful to our styles and flaws, our warrants and outlooks. Using what is most honest to ourselves opens the door for us to better succeed in what we're writing or doing"-Paul.
Warrants makes us who we are as writers and that give us the character flaws we need to make us relate-able to our audience. I am not sure I really knew what my warrant was four months ago, so I just wrote bull shit. This got me thinking...maybe bull shit is my warrant?
I think adding any more would spoil the poignancy, the beauty, and the truth of such a line.
Can I just make a smiley and leave it be?
:)
----
Yes. This goes back to "why we write." I'm sure all of you are familiar with "how hard" writing is. Rereading some posts now, I get angry, and it makes my nest of blankets warmer. I don't like when we call our own writing "bullshit." I dislike it even more when we call each other's writing "bullshit," even if it is in an indirect manner. You might not think so, but I think that even when we pull a great, steaming pile of "bullshit" out of various orifices, that pile stinks of life and living. We live in our writing. Writing allows us life. So then, where do the warrants lie? In last-minute cramming for Wehrs' doom exam tomorrow, I'm reading Aristotle's "On Interpretation." He says that words by themselves are not true or false in themselves. When they are strung together, their ability to evoke a likeness to an experience shared by human beings is what is "true." So then, I suppose our warrants lie in our ability to articulate a likeness to an experience. Words, then, allow us life. With words, we share in our mutual suffering and love of living.
Warrants. Ahh, when I first started opening up. And the blog when I first started to realize how amazing this class is…
I mean, seriously: “I didn’t cry when my dog or grandfather died, I didn’t cry in break-up 1 or 2, and I didn’t cry in jail or because of it. But I did cry two weekends ago at my life-long friend’s wedding. My heart has not become braver, I don’t love my friend more than I loved my G-pa, and didn’t care more about my friends tears at the alter than my ex’s in the car…but standing next to my friend—thinking about bike rides, first kisses, and secrets—I realized, “I’m dieing” (Wilson). This is when I knew that Dr. P was going to fall in love with you forever. Hell, we all were falling in love with you forever. (Flashforward to FML: I Heart Wilson: The Story of Us)
And gosh: “I have loved, lost, hurt another and been hurt myself-- does that entitle me to speak as a woman, or am I still a girl playing dress-up with mom's heels and lipstick? I've been in a largely long-distance relationship for nearly three years now, and I think that for most people that's a warrant for me to talk about love and patience and fidelity” (Josie). It was here when I read this that I realized 1.) I could never write about my long distance relationship of a year and a half on here, if it wasn’t Josie’s warrant it sure as hell wasn’t mine, 2.) that if I were a boy I would totally be in love with Josie, and 3.) that if I had to have a relationship-related warrant it would have to be more honest – about what it’s like to date your ex’s best friend and your best guy friend’s best friend (both of which are my boyfriend now) and I really didn’t want to put that stamp across my forehead this early in the game.
And I criedddddd reading “because life is a bitch like that, but she's a gorgeous bitch that loves you no matter how much she hurts you. She loves you because she hurts you. She loves you, and that hurts you” (Josie). And that crying quickly turned to sobbing after “I wanted to either live or die immediately, but I couldn't remain in the middle of the two without going insane” (Josie). Maybe I’m a crybaby or maybe there’s just something wrong with me, but I was just so amazed at how honest she was and how beautifully she could write about this personal memory.
Okay, so back to warrants. We as readers crave them. I need to believe you as the writer because otherwise I just assume you’re full of shit. And honestly, I read enough bullshit on a day-to-day basis for my liking. And like Robert, “If it ain't real, keep it concealed, because quite frankly, I'm allergic to it.”
Uh oh…it is the warrants blog. This one was really difficult for me because I guess I did not really understand what it meant and if I was credible of anything at all. I have noticed all of my fellow peers have discussed “faking it” and the significance of this phrase is priceless. This reminds me of my Uncle Robert (from Chicago) who moved down to Alabama over a decade ago. He is the family member that everyone has that never shuts up. On a daily basis I would say he pisses 80% of the family off and I do not know if he just doesn’t care or he really just doesn’t care. Anyways, he talked himself up so much to people around our little community and had them thinking so highly of him. He drove around in his two fancy Lincoln Town cars, but came home to an old run-down trailer behind my grandmother’s house. Why? He seemed so credible to everyone else with his tall tales and all of those things he had back in Chicago. Well, where is that fancy house and all of these things that make Uncle Rob so great? Well that is a great example of “faking it” to me. It is clear that some people can spend their whole lives “faking it” and that’s fine as long as we never become those people. I always want to keep it real and try not to fall into that category of artificial individuals. So, as long as we know we believe in what we are saying and we stand by what we stand for-we have all of our warrants.
This was such a difficult post. How do you define a warrant, and how do you tell someone that there warrant is bullshit? I definately can't do that, because my warrant changes on a daily basis. Does it make it weaker? I don't think so. I just can't tie down my writing to one irrefutable reason, because it will eventually be refuted. One day I may write because I am an asshole, and the next day I write because I am a saint. Though it may show that I am a bit crazy (who isn't though), it also shows that I am not ready to define my writing with a warrant. I write because I breathe; once I stop, it stops. And, no, I don't have a reason, I was born this way. I don't like that I don't know why I write, or why I started writing. I just do it, and my warrant will come later.
And if it doesn't...well, I said this earlier, and I think it still holds true: If cops can fake warrants, so can writers.
"As Dr. Privett will tell you in more ways than one, take ownership of your words. They're a gift and a responsibility." Dr. Walters
This is the one that I dreaded. Going back and reading what I wrote. Squinting at the computer screen and reading through one eye as I try to turn my face away. It's ugly. I don't like it. But it's mine.
Me (bravery X2) + honest introspection - BS= Warrant
ReplyDeleteThe above “math” equation is elementary, but I hate this blog because it’s so hard to really define what a warrant is, and I was hoping that you all would see my equation and see the light, and save me from trying to explain just what it is I’m thinking.
The thing is, I think we as humans- especially English majors- are skeptical when it comes to reading. How do we know the writer isn’t messing with our emotions, lying or just “adding” a few details to a story? How am I even supposed to go about proving I can be trusted?
In my first response, I wrote a lot about being brave enough to be honest, get the details in, and to “put your heart up against the shoes.” That’s really only the first step, as I’ve learned from reading everyone else’s responses. The writer, me, has to be brave enough to be honest: You can’t be a writer if you want to keep you ideas, skeletons, and whatever weird stuff you have going on in the closet…because if you take away those things, those real human experiences, how is the world are you going to relate to other humans?
Besides being brave enough to make ourselves transparent to the readers, we have to leave out BS. No beating around the bush, no softening our words, no whispering when we should be yelling. If we’re walking on eggshells, our audience will hear the cracking. Because the thing is, somewhere between the first page and the end of what we’re reading, we figure out who the author is. If they’re sarcastic, we know. If they’re obnoxious or quiet or deep, we know. We can’t be fooled, and neither can our readers.
So what is a warrant? How will I make people believe me? Well, I’ve learned that I can’t. That’s right. I cannot make any reader believe anything I’ve written, they have to choose for themselves based on what they read; but I believe that if I write from personal experience, and from a very real, raw, and honest place, it will be hard for them to doubt me. If I leave my fingerprints on my writings, how much more warranty can someone ask for?
I’ve already told you I can be whoever I want to be, “but, faking it is no fun. I feel that if you really want to move someone you should talk to them about real feelings and real situations. If you leave your own mind penetrable, you are able to unlock others” (Courtney Paige). This truth however, means that I may have to know the minds of others. I’d prefer to yell and strip, running around timid/clothed souls, feeling like I’m twice as long as I am. I have the bravery to be honest, but do I really want you to be? Can Whispers teach me to feel as she does?
ReplyDelete“It seems a bit flamboyant of me to run around writing about my experiences or – dear God – my own thoughts, but occasionally I let my hair down, don some intensely ugly garb and own up to some serious self-destructive behavior. So I guess my warrant is that – I stand in my own way a lot and I want anyone sorry enough to read what I cast into blog-blivion to not feel so alone. Or maybe I’m completely unrelateable. I don’t know. I’ll say this – my writing isn’t really clever or cunning, but there is resolve” (Whispers).
Maybe a good first step would be to change my profile from my own name, to something that sounds like sanctuary. But that would mean that I’d have to care more about the lonely being loved than I do about being the one to love the lonely.
I am so desperate to be “the Leaver, and not the one who gets left behind” (kmp0020), that I am scared of those who can help me, and lured to the ones who need me. This is why I’m a destroyer. Because I lack the guts in the initial, in the beginning, in the time when I’m choosing what I need and can help me or what is personally safe and selfish.
Trillium rocked my world on this one. Loved it. Like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants minus the weird pants and cheesy dialogue and foreign men. Being happy and free. I could see that—could identify with it, could match it up to my own moments of bliss and entitlement, could picture it all then, the dog and the truck and the song and the thought process.
ReplyDeleteIt’s difficult for me to talk about the blogs where I said something personal that isn’t happy or at least mildly hopeful. This is embarrassing for me to read again, because all I see is drama: no facts, just little Angry Girl Writer tears. Josh’s comments about my relative humility and humbleness thrilled me right before they made me sad, because all I keep thinking is this: if these people think what I’m doing or saying is right or good, then they haven’t fully grasped what kind of awfulness I have in me yet.
Also, William: yes. What he talked about is exactly what I’m experiencing right now—rereading my writing with this kind of thing is like the morning after with a man whose sister surprises him with a visit while my underwear is still hanging from the ceiling fan. There’s no way anybody is going to come out of this with dignity. I felt like Robert’s response was looking right at me—you there in the corner, telling the sob story. Cut that shit out. I fight that feeling with my writing all the time, and it makes me wonder if I’m supposed to get something out of that feeling. Also—I hate “The Scarlet Letter” too. 12:42.
I really liked the subject of "warrants." It reminded me of when I took dual enrollment in high school and my speech teacher talking about credibility. There was an actual spot in our speech where we had to say, basically, what gave us the right to talk about this subject. What made us knowledgeable.
ReplyDeleteWell I feel like twenty-one and a half years of life gives me the right to talk about whatever I wanna talk about. You can disagree if you want. Or ridicule me. Or even (gasp) judge me...but it doesn't mean I won't say it.
"Even if we put people off with our writing and warrants, we shouldn't allow for that to hold us back with continuing with our personal progress in that subject." -Paul
I think so too, Paul. We are gonna piss people off. Sometimes I think some people just like being pissed off and will be so no matter what you say. So why not just go ahead and tell the truth?
Life is not a movie. It's not all about cliches. It's not "wahhhh, listen to me, feel sorry for me." Since this original post was written, I met this guy. We talked for a little while before we both absolutely got on each other's nerves. (Wow. I actually admitted that...I feel a little better now!) The point I am making is that at a Halloween party (both of us a little drunk) we tried to out-warrant each other. We both tried to blame our broken hearts on stuff, mostly our dads (go figure?)
Me: "Well my dad divorced my mom and moved to Texas! Just when I needed him most. So now I go after emotionally unavailable guys who treat me badly!"
Him: "I met my real father on his death bed. I thought the man who raised me all of my life was my real father, but he wasn't. Oh and my ex was a meth head!"
Me: "My ex cheated on me with my sister!"
I wish I was making this up. How ridiculous is all of this? Point is, warrants can be used to say, "It's ok, I understand." But they shouldn't be to make people feel sorry for you or make yourself feel superior.
Sorry, this was rambling for sure. On an ending note... Dr PD, I'm glad you decided not to fake it :)
Have I already used the “this was my favorite” line? This time I mean it. Except I just peaked a little down the line from where I stand in these responses and there may be one or two more favorites left to write.
ReplyDeleteI remember this as the day I learned Josie’s name. Even through Almond and our previous blogs, I had failed to invest in you all. I wasn’t sure of the boundaries, or more importantly how many people were actually reading what I wrote. If this FMLing is good for anything its good for expressing gratitude to everyone who challenged me. Josie: this was your day. You cut me open, and assaulted my conscious. The life I was loving wasn’t putting out anymore. I’m glad the gorgeous bitch isn’t monogamous because I don’t know what I’d do without her now.
And Trillium: “I want to write something brilliant. I want to completely understand what I'm talking about and be able to articulate it clearly. Unfortunately, all of those abilities seem to have disappeared into the ether at the moment…” Thanks for saying that for me, because I didn’t have the guts to. I wish for just one moment I was Wilson or Dr. P – hell anybody articulate – so that you would believe it when I say: you are understood, and your writing is brilliant. But for what little my own warrants are worth, I hope you know it is true.
This was also a perfect day for me to become obsessed with this blog, because it meant I went back after I had posted and had the privilege of reading R.R’s post. What you said seemed so effortless in its honesty that it put what I said to shame. I hope (f you read) what I said it didn’t call for Claritin.
As for my own warrants, they’re changing. I’ve cannibalized a few since we last took an inventory, but managed to replace them with a few more. This time I’ve earned them, scars it tow.
I wasn’t ready back then to let my true colors show (maybe now I am cause I know that this semester is over) I wish that I had the boldness and courage that so many of you posses in letting people into your stories, no matter who they are. I am pretty gullible when it comes to writing I will believe anything that you tell me. I love fiction because it lets me have the ability to tell all my dirty little secrets without you knowing if it is really about me or that I just made it up in my head. I like what Courtney had to say about warrants, “I feel like when it comes to warrants, it is basically your permission to "move" someone.
ReplyDeletePeople take you seriously if you know what you're talking about. Or at least if you fake it.
But, faking it is no fun. I feel that if you really want to move someone you should talk to them about real feelings and real situations. If you leave your own mind penetrable, you are able to unlock others.”
Faking = no fun. I mean we don’t like fake people or things so why would we want to fake it with someone’s mind. Why not just let the raw bareness hang out? That last part about unlocking other is so golden. I think I need to understand more about warrants. I allow things to penetrate into my mind but do I trust people enough to try to move theirs? I do have fear. I want to be one of those writers that I love so much that make me fall in love with them, yet it takes courage to do that. It takes letting people in to see you for who you are. I think that this is something that I am constantly trying to do but to fearful to pursue.
Ah, the infamous warrant blog. Really stuck my foot in my mouth in that one. What was I trying to say again? What was everyone trying to say? Yes, we were talking about proving that we knew what we were talking about before talking about it... Almond, of course, is brilliant. Trillium said in this blog she wants to write something brilliant, and really we all do. We all want it to be brilliant and perfect and relatable, and incite just enough emotion, use just enough thought provoking technique, to leave the reader as in love with our work as we are when we write it. Is that even possible?
ReplyDeleteSara wrote she was expecting the class to be more technical and less emotional, making her unsure on how to respond. And RR Irwin addressed the passivity they found in a person's separate internet persona, while ending with, "If it ain't real, keep it concealed, because quite frankly, I'm allergic to it." And then, Dr. Walters brought us all back to life when he wrote that whatever we write, "to silence them out of some misguided belief that we’re sparing each other the noisy, irrelevant, boring details of our lives....is to silence every human being in the world... —to warrant, in some perverse way—the nonwriting, nonspeaking, nonliving human being as the only human being worth keeping alive. Like a bug in a sealed jar. Like a prisoner in the camps. And because silent human beings are never heard, they might just as well be dead."
WOW. So that’s our warrant. We write to keep each other alive. There is a reason this blog is so quotable, because we all felt so strongly about it, about our warrants. It is, after all, what legitimizes us, our words, our thoughts, and ideas; or else we'd be like that bug in the jar or the prisoner, better off dead. SO, then Nick Brown wrote about, "that place in your chest that compels you to put what even you can barely describe, to paper because it feels like the tiny ball of angst will burst throughout your body. I believe anything anyone writes from that place is the only warrant you need." And I agree. This is what I've learned from this one, we all have to write, and share, and feel, and it’s okay. How will we ever learn anything if we always agree? From here I was excited about the concept of disagreement. We will see where that got me in the next blog....
I think another way this question could have been put is "what does it meant to be a writer?" And, in our own ways, I think that's what we all addressed, not just on this particular blog, but in this class as a whole. I love what Martha Lee Anne said on the subject; "it seems to me that writers are the most courageous people. Because here we are with our imperfections and flaws and weaknesses, and unlike the sane people we know who keep their quirks and memories in the closet, we writers throw it all out there to be analyzed and discussed and perhaps judged." And Tiffanee expressed the philosophy so many of us seem to embrace; "everything can be ripped from your grasp, and if you didn't take advantage of the moment, you will never forget it." We are people who live in the moment, but also just as much in the past and the future, and the possible. That's what writing lets us do, take an experience we've had, and look at its implications and the way things could have been. But, sometimes we get too introspective, and we forget to live - we forget to find our warrants.
ReplyDeleteI love what Dr. Walters said about how we might as well be dead as stifle our voices.
I love that so many of us are booze-swilling, smoke-sucking, truly fucked-up individuals.
And I love that there are a few who aren't, who can see life through the rose coloured glasses, not because they fake it, but because they really do have that much faith in humanity and the rightness of the world.
I love being part of the first group at the same time that I envy the second.
The point, at least for me, is that we all have our stories. And I have a responsibility, not only to tell my own - honestly, articulately, and making it real - but also to listen to the stories of others. I find it so easy to put people in categories and then think I know their story because I know the stereotype. I have to remember that just because there is truth to most stereotypes, they are also just that - types - and no one ever fits a type completely. We are all individuals, with individual stories. And those stories deserve to be heard as individuals.
P.S. Reading back over this made me remember how sad I am that Nick Brown dropped this class. He seemed like a cool kid, and I wish he could have stayed the full semester. :(
Let me just say, that this one sucked for me. Maybe I should have just stuck to contemplating what a warrant is, and how it is used rather than wonder what mine are. But I was inspired by Josh’s post about exploring his warrants. And I felt it time to put it all out there, balls to the wall. When I opened up the blog and started writing Frank’s post wasn’t up, and after I hit send, I saw it. I was humbled, and didn’t feel worthy to have my thrown-together-in-five-minutes-crap up online after his. So sorry to you all that read his work of art, and then read mine. But I guess that’s just how the cookie crumbles.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of warrants are useful, but a little painful, you need to be able to delve into yourself and grab the truth before you can start acting like you know what you are talking about. However, I love finding out about other people, so reading it is just fine to me, creating and realizing it about yourself on the other hand, is not. It’s a been-there done-that attitude we need to see in someone else before we believe them. Like Courtney had said, we aren’t going to take advice from someone who hasn’t experienced it.
Ya'll know how I feel about warrants. I'm not going to go into that again. I didn't like this discussion when it happened and I assume it showed when I wrote about it. You're gonna have to get me really drunk or get me in your bed to get anything out of me. However, I do want people to know that I do have an emotional side to me; I consider myself a very emotional and thoughtful person. I think way too hard and too often about little things. I'm pretty sentimental about life. But that doesn't give people the automatic right to tap into it. It's a level of trust that is unconventional to most, but if you want to get to know me, I suppose it's only fair that I let you in on some of those secrets.
ReplyDeletePrivate James Ryan: "You were gonna tell me about your wife and the rose bushes?"
Captain John Miller: "...no...no. I save that one just for me."
I really like this definition of a warrant: "it is basically your permission to "move" someone." In retrospect, Courtney's words make sense to me. If I want people to be changed by my words, if I want them to listen and react, then I need a good warrant. An experience, a tale, a story that gives me the right to speak my truths to others.
ReplyDeleteSharing warrants is another aspect to this idea. As Trillium said, this is a blog that became about being a writer. What gives me the right to share my words with others? I suppose that would be another way of thinking of warrants. If my experiences, my credentials, justify the words I type, then there are a very specific set of things that I am allowed to speak about.
I still believe this: “We work so hard to earn some warrants, while we vehemently deny others, and in those actions we create a persona that is either heard or muted. Real or fake.” And I don’t know that I have discovered which of my warrants have earned or created for myself. As an English major, I trade in ideas. The creativity, the cleverness of my ideas, and the way that I unveil them, those are my credentials, my warrants. I forgot to list that when I was writing before. And I’m learning that it may be one of my most effective credentials of all.
I sit in the back corner and occasionally chime in with another honest, but boring story, however from time to time, my example is actually parallel with the class discussion. From the word warrant, a few things came to mind, I matched it to synonyms, maybe justification works, or reliability, or how about a simple "what gives me the right to write this?". Why not an honest opinion? In my mind that's all of the justification one needs. But from my corner I can't see faces, facial expression is the easiest way to tell if someone is telling the truth. Some people smile, many look down. I always listened to what everyone had to offer, one person though always stuck out, no it's not Wilson, it's actually Josie.
ReplyDeleteOn the original blog she said "there are warrants I have that I don't deserve, and ones I don't have that I think I do. When it comes to the important things, I'm probably a Person of Interest at best". If you read the whole blog it makes sense in there. I see how some people are in class, silent, but I think they are itching to speak, but maybe they aren't sure if it's okay. Mad props to Josie, your honesty, to me, is the only warrant you need.
I may be way off, but honesty might be the most important warrant of all.
Haha, Robert, I watched Saving Private Ryan today, too. It really made it hard for me to focus on the task at hand.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I didn't post on this blog originally (oops). And I think I am still not really sure I grasp this warrant concept. I’ve always been a little slow.
I do like what Catherine said about being in Education and how if one of our students writes candidly to us about their life (much like we write for this class and on this blog) no matter how good the writing is, we have to follow protocol. One of my education teachers told me that at the beginning of each creative assignment, we are supposed to say that if our students write about anything that involves them hurting others or themselves, we have to report. So they are automatically limited in a way. I mean, how creative can you actually be if you have to censor yourself?
But then again, do we really want our students to be honest with us? I think this is one of the few classes I have taken where my professor actually wanted us to be ourselves. It's weird. In a good way. I don't know that if, in a few years, I would want my little baby high school students to be honest with me. Not like this, at least. I don't want to know the moments where they have fucked up. Mainly because I don't want to be the person who is responsible for turning them in. I know that it if they are brave enough to write about it, then they recognize the error of their ways. Because I was most likely as stupid and reckless as they were at one point in my life. And I think I turned out okay.
I have learned through this blog post (and the original) that Dr. P was fooling all of us. She actually was referring to the band "Warrant" and not "warrants" in our lives. As Forrest Gump would say, "and that's all I have to say about that."
ReplyDeleteI'm just kidding.
Through learning via reading everyones' blogs, I learned that I truly feel confident in my writing when I spin it with humor or cheesy sarcasm. And that's my warrant (this was an epiphany I came to about halfway through the firs paragraph)- humor. I wish my close friends (and even regular friends) could occasionally see the serious and fatherly side of me, but I can never bring myself to show them. It's a weakness that makes me feel guilty for searching out for humor in everything, and that follows me into writing.
Humor is my warrant, I know, because whenever I write with humor and sarcasm I always believe myself and trust that it's really me in those words. This is not to say that I can't or don't write serious (like now), but I just remember the funny stuff more, and that's serious business to me.
I'm with Paul on this one. That serious side is hard to show, because it feels like a weakness to let people know that you actually care. It's way easier to just makes jokes all the time to make everybody think that you're comfortable with every situation.
ReplyDeleteThis is still one of the earlier blogs, that I half-assed and didn't really understand what I was doing. I did write in a paper, though, that I have valid warrants. I'm young, I make mistakes, but if I believe enough in something that I'm writing passionately about it, then I think that the truth of it will ring true enough that it will hopefully speak to you personally.
Initially, I think we all were a bit confused on what a warrant really is, but after reading others responses I think we now understand. I think Josh said it best, "It is the permission to "move" someone." I do agree with others in the class that if I'm going to write about something with the intent to move someone then it has to be honest and true, with no gray areas. I remember reading Josie's post from the old blog and how much it moved me. From reading it I could tell that it was indeed the truth and that she was being completely honest even though she somewhat felt it hard to speak about. She didn't have to speak on it, but she did. This goes to show that readers can tell whether your writing is real or fake. Warrants are important when writing, its just that we have to choose which one are actually real and which ones we somehow created ourselves through time.
ReplyDelete"I want to write something brilliant. I want to completely understand what I'm talking about and be able to articulate it clearly"-Trillium.
ReplyDeleteWho doesn't want this? But the question is are we capable of doing such a thing when we let our warrants get in the way. Hell yea we are!
"I think what we have learned and extracted from this course so far, has been to stay faithful to our styles and flaws, our warrants and outlooks. Using what is most honest to ourselves opens the door for us to better succeed in what we're writing or doing"-Paul.
Warrants makes us who we are as writers and that give us the character flaws we need to make us relate-able to our audience. I am not sure I really knew what my warrant was four months ago, so I just wrote bull shit. This got me thinking...maybe bull shit is my warrant?
"We write to keep each other alive."
ReplyDelete^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
I think adding any more would spoil the poignancy, the beauty, and the truth of such a line.
Can I just make a smiley and leave it be?
:)
----
Yes. This goes back to "why we write." I'm sure all of you are familiar with "how hard" writing is. Rereading some posts now, I get angry, and it makes my nest of blankets warmer. I don't like when we call our own writing "bullshit." I dislike it even more when we call each other's writing "bullshit," even if it is in an indirect manner. You might not think so, but I think that even when we pull a great, steaming pile of "bullshit" out of various orifices, that pile stinks of life and living. We live in our writing. Writing allows us life. So then, where do the warrants lie? In last-minute cramming for Wehrs' doom exam tomorrow, I'm reading Aristotle's "On Interpretation." He says that words by themselves are not true or false in themselves. When they are strung together, their ability to evoke a likeness to an experience shared by human beings is what is "true." So then, I suppose our warrants lie in our ability to articulate a likeness to an experience. Words, then, allow us life. With words, we share in our mutual suffering and love of living.
Warrants. Ahh, when I first started opening up. And the blog when I first started to realize how amazing this class is…
ReplyDeleteI mean, seriously: “I didn’t cry when my dog or grandfather died, I didn’t cry in break-up 1 or 2, and I didn’t cry in jail or because of it. But I did cry two weekends ago at my life-long friend’s wedding. My heart has not become braver, I don’t love my friend more than I loved my G-pa, and didn’t care more about my friends tears at the alter than my ex’s in the car…but standing next to my friend—thinking about bike rides, first kisses, and secrets—I realized, “I’m dieing” (Wilson). This is when I knew that Dr. P was going to fall in love with you forever. Hell, we all were falling in love with you forever. (Flashforward to FML: I Heart Wilson: The Story of Us)
And gosh: “I have loved, lost, hurt another and been hurt myself-- does that entitle me to speak as a woman, or am I still a girl playing dress-up with mom's heels and lipstick? I've been in a largely long-distance relationship for nearly three years now, and I think that for most people that's a warrant for me to talk about love and patience and fidelity” (Josie). It was here when I read this that I realized 1.) I could never write about my long distance relationship of a year and a half on here, if it wasn’t Josie’s warrant it sure as hell wasn’t mine, 2.) that if I were a boy I would totally be in love with Josie, and 3.) that if I had to have a relationship-related warrant it would have to be more honest – about what it’s like to date your ex’s best friend and your best guy friend’s best friend (both of which are my boyfriend now) and I really didn’t want to put that stamp across my forehead this early in the game.
And I criedddddd reading “because life is a bitch like that, but she's a gorgeous bitch that loves you no matter how much she hurts you. She loves you because she hurts you. She loves you, and that hurts you” (Josie). And that crying quickly turned to sobbing after “I wanted to either live or die immediately, but I couldn't remain in the middle of the two without going insane” (Josie). Maybe I’m a crybaby or maybe there’s just something wrong with me, but I was just so amazed at how honest she was and how beautifully she could write about this personal memory.
Okay, so back to warrants. We as readers crave them. I need to believe you as the writer because otherwise I just assume you’re full of shit. And honestly, I read enough bullshit on a day-to-day basis for my liking. And like Robert, “If it ain't real, keep it concealed, because quite frankly, I'm allergic to it.”
Uh oh…it is the warrants blog. This one was really difficult for me because I guess I did not really understand what it meant and if I was credible of anything at all.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed all of my fellow peers have discussed “faking it” and the significance of this phrase is priceless. This reminds me of my Uncle Robert (from Chicago) who moved down to Alabama over a decade ago. He is the family member that everyone has that never shuts up. On a daily basis I would say he pisses 80% of the family off and I do not know if he just doesn’t care or he really just doesn’t care. Anyways, he talked himself up so much to people around our little community and had them thinking so highly of him. He drove around in his two fancy Lincoln Town cars, but came home to an old run-down trailer behind my grandmother’s house. Why? He seemed so credible to everyone else with his tall tales and all of those things he had back in Chicago. Well, where is that fancy house and all of these things that make Uncle Rob so great? Well that is a great example of “faking it” to me.
It is clear that some people can spend their whole lives “faking it” and that’s fine as long as we never become those people. I always want to keep it real and try not to fall into that category of artificial individuals. So, as long as we know we believe in what we are saying and we stand by what we stand for-we have all of our warrants.
This was such a difficult post. How do you define a warrant, and how do you tell someone that there warrant is bullshit? I definately can't do that, because my warrant changes on a daily basis. Does it make it weaker? I don't think so. I just can't tie down my writing to one irrefutable reason, because it will eventually be refuted. One day I may write because I am an asshole, and the next day I write because I am a saint. Though it may show that I am a bit crazy (who isn't though), it also shows that I am not ready to define my writing with a warrant. I write because I breathe; once I stop, it stops. And, no, I don't have a reason, I was born this way. I don't like that I don't know why I write, or why I started writing. I just do it, and my warrant will come later.
ReplyDeleteAnd if it doesn't...well, I said this earlier, and I think it still holds true: If cops can fake warrants, so can writers.
"As Dr. Privett will tell you in more ways than one, take ownership of your words. They're a gift and a responsibility." Dr. Walters
ReplyDeleteThis is the one that I dreaded. Going back and reading what I wrote. Squinting at the computer screen and reading through one eye as I try to turn my face away. It's ugly. I don't like it.
But it's mine.